The 20 Worst Films of 2008 part 1

I don't know whether it's a mark of pride or shame that I am willing to see most any movie that has been released. I do discriminate, but not much: I refused to see Funny Games because it was a shot-for-shot remake of a movie that I found misguided and morally objectionable. I didn't see The Hottie and The Nottie because it was a complete waste of my time.


But I did see the following 20 movies...so you be the judge of how proud or ashamed I should be.


20. War, INC
This wasn't a failure of execution: the actors do their best with what was written for them. The best I can say is that there were a few good ideas in the script and that I understand what the director was trying to accomplish. The goal is to satirize the military-industrial complex and while there are some very good moments in this film, the script and disorganized direction hold it back from being anything note-worthy.

19. Sex and the City
Talk about long-winded. Maybe it's because I'm a dude. But...I liked the show, so what happened here? I have a feeling that most of any acclaim this film received was from fans of the show who were champing at the bit for a few more fleeting seconds with their old friends. Wouldn't it have been better for the SitC fans if the movie has actually been good?

18. Chapter 27
I think the circumstances behind John Lennon's murder were really fascinating. The connections to Catcher in the Rye, the connections to Hinckley and how celebrity culture had begun to get out of hand are all issues that could have been dealt with if the film was written by a more experienced filmmaker: one not so concerned with making his mark or being controversial. The narrative is told through the blurry goggles of Mark Chapman, which is all well and good unless you want to tell a compelling story. Because Mark David Chapman was a bit boring.

17. Eagle Eye
It's okay to employ fantasy in action movies, but this one goes a little far. Are we really to believe that a Julianne Moore-voiced robot has gone rogue and is now in the process of assassinating the top twelve people in the Presidential line of ascendancy? So that Michael Chiklis can PotUS? You expect us to buy that? Really?

Well screw you, too Mr. DJ Caruso!

16. Youth Without Youth
Remember when Michael Jordan came out of retirement and everyone was concerned that playing for the Washington Wizards would tarnish his legacy? It didn't, really...or at least not much. Let's say that Jordan coming out of retirement is like when Francis Ford Coppola directed Jack and The Rainmaker. By most standards, those two films were failures, but nothing big enough to tarnish such a great career.

Now...consider Mike Tyson: he was at the top of his sport for a very long time until he had to take some time off (in jail). So he came back a couple of years later and ended up biting a guys ear off, losing three of his last four fights, getting a face tattoo, wrestling in the WWE and threatening to eat someones babies...remember that?

That's what it's like when Coppola directs Youth Without Youth. Francis Ford Coppola just bit off our ear. We've just entered the danger zone.

15. The Love Guru
Mike Myers is a very funny man. I'm willing to admit that much. His latest movie, though, is just more of the same. I'm not railing against it because it's similar to his other films. I didn't like the movie because his gags are not very funny. There's nothing in this movie with the hilarious lasting power that drove the Wayne's World and Austin Powers franchises. We can only hope that Guru Pitka is either a one-shot character or that Myers returns to form.

14. Strange Wilderness
You can't blame the actors because Steve Zahn, Justin Long, Kevin Heffernan, Jonah Hill and Jeff Garlin are all very funny men. The jokes are so stale and the writing is so limiting that a bunch of very skilled comedic actors cannot save this movie. It's just a huge waste of talent.

13. Superhero Movie
I can't blame the directors and writers of this one for trying to capitalize on the growing trend of spoof movies. I just thought that we'd come farther as a society. The crazy thing is that this is the best spoof film of the year. Let's make a New Year's resolution to stop supporting spoof films.

12. Norbit
I swear to God that the first ten or fifteen minutes of this film are pretty funny. After that it nosedives into a pool of crude jokes that often border on racism. Murphy, as he has done before, plays multiple characters, including an Asian man. This is one of the more racist caricatures of a stereotypical East Asian man since Breakfast at Tiffany's. Unfortunately, this film was rewarded by the Academy for best achievement in makeup. The Oscar is well deserved, though, even if the content in the film is not.

11. September Dawn
I didn't just put this film at 11 because it's about the September 11th Mountain Meadow Massacre. The film is genuinely horrible, too! The filmmakers do two things wrong with this film. First, they vilify the LDS when the situation was probably far more complicated. The movie comes off as an indictment not only of the men involved with the massacre, but also of Brigham Young (which doesn't seem like much of a stretch) and of Mormons the world over (which is ridiculous). The film is narrow-minded when it comes to the causes and effects of the Mountain Meadow Massacre, but the filmmakers commit an even greater sin. They turn the whole even into melodrama. What an insult to the ancestors of the few survivors of the massacre! It's amazing that there are so many films worse than this oversimplified, manipulative piece of garbage.


But there are!

Come back on Monday to find out which ones!